GeekyJock's stuffs

Ode to my dad

2010-06-19T21:49:00.000-07:00

To my papa who's not perfect, but wants everything perfect for me
To my papa whom I can discuss CHinese history and world politics any time of the day.
To my papa who I can watch basketball games with (At the same time analyze the game)
To my papa whom I got my appetite, so I never became malnourished.
To my papa who appreciates arts and film, and so I never ran out of creative things to say, to write and to create.

No he's not my dad, my dad doesn't want his pic to be posted here that's all

To my papa who sometimes spill out corny jokes, but never failed to make me laugh during my hardest times.
To my papa who never wrote a story, but never stops telling me stories to write.
To my papa who stopped believing he will still succeed anymore, but always believe I will.
To my papa who always cry when happy, sad, or whatever feeling (he just cries a lot), but stood strong when I'm weak.

To my papa who can be easily discouraged, but never stops encouraging me.
To my papa who loves to sleep, but didn't slept when I was sick.
To my papa who made a lot of mistakes in life, but never made a mistake on raising me.
To my papa whom often disappointed to the people he trusted, but never stop trusting me although I failed him many times.
To my papa who's not wealthy to buy me stuffs, but splurged me with knowledge and love in my life.
To my dad who's a friend to everyone, but a bestfriend to me.
To my dad who thinks destiny is out of his hands, but always tells me to "go to my destiny"

There are a million words or phrase or prose to tribute my dad, (150% he'll cry if he reads this) ANywaa happy fathers day dad! Muchas Gracias papa. I love you

baby names

2010-06-18T11:17:00.000-07:00

I was talking with my sister through skype a while ago and we were talking about some stuffs. We were talking about the sequential laboring of some friends and relatives and some acquaintances. DOn't know what happened but our topic suddenly shifted to baby names, probably because a lot of my Filipino-CHinese colleagues etc. are starting shift to fatherhood/motherhood. They're cute little Chinese babies, with their innocent looking faces posted on facebook with their excited smiley parents proud to show off their newly born babies. But there's something i noticed about these cute new generation of babies: Their names.

I noticed that most of the babies being born from parents' of my generation of chinoys have "rapper" names. You know names derived from african-american names. Names similar to: "shaniqua" "Aaliyah" "Tayshaun" "Kemisha" "Jermaine" etc. and etc. and etc. (really don't know what's with the "sha") I mean what were they thinking on giving their babies' names from rappers? You know I've thought about this before, and knowing I started creating some theories why these conservative, "creative and cool" parents name their kids this way:

Theory 1: The parents of these Parents (meaning the grandfather of the babies) are lazy enough or rather doesn't want to spend much time thinking about their kids' name while waiting in the hospital while they're worrying about their store/shop. And so in effect these parents grew up having common names like Michael , Bryan, Mark, Michelle, Christine, Joana, or Jennifer. And they don't want their kids to have these same names again.

Theory 2: Even though they're already parents, they still want the feeling of people thinking them as cool. And so when we say "cool"it must be a rapper! And so they want their other rapper parents to tell them : "Hey you're cool 'coz your child's name is cool!"

Theory 3: Many of those parents wanted to look smart and creative, and so they overdone the names of their child that they ended up with a rapper like name. sample Jayson = Jayshaun, or Sheena = Sheeniqua, or probably Beth = Betheesha. Anyway these are just mock samples.

My sister and I were laughing about the idea of going overboard about these names. Yeah that's right I mean if you want to give your kid a rapperish name then give it all the way man. I was thinking why not derived the babies' names from one of our popular R & B artists. You know give him/her a name like:

"P.Diddy LLCoolJ Wu", or
"50-cent ICeTea To" or
"SouljaBoi Lim" or
"Lil'Wayne Wang" or
"Ashanti Rihanna Pempengco (This is a wierd sample). Or
"Apl Akon Ang" or
"Sisqo Co" or
"Neyo Yu" or
"WuTangClan Tan"
By the way some these names rhyme too huh? yeah.

My conclusion: I hope these kids would grow up happy about their names. I'll be a good good boi and not judge their name giving prowess anymore. I just hope that they would appreciate their parents' effort of giving them a cool name. I also understand their reasons that they only want the best for their kids, they want them to be "in" as soon as they start mingling with other kids. We can't blame them for choosing a name from something they love. Maybe someday when I have a child there's a chance I would name him/her "Jean-Luc Lorenos" or "Maya Deren Lorenos" or "Theodoros Lorenos" (now this sounds really greek) ANyway as long as they're happy I'll be happy. I'm just a plain observes that's all. A rapper's peace sign to all the babies out there and me saying "Waz up y'all"!! Happy Fathers day to everyone.

A short defense to the honorabol Presidente!

2010-06-17T04:29:00.000-07:00

Why do I hate her? Is she that bad? is she sucking all our country's resource dry? Is she abusing her powers and asking for more? Is she a bad president? I just hate her seeing her face and all her "achievements" that she contributed for the Philippines...why do i hate her?

That was one heck of an easy ridin'

2010-05-30T18:48:00.000-07:00

RIP Dennis Hopper

Zumi on my mind!

2010-05-23T07:48:00.000-07:00

test stills from my zumi, playing with the cam oh yeah!

excited to test my zumi

2010-05-20T17:19:00.000-07:00

i'm so predictable, just played with the zumi cam ASA it came into my possesion

test clip

Zumi on my hands!

2010-05-19T07:03:00.000-07:00

Today i received a surprising news, or rather gift! The lusty Harinozumi is now in my possesion! yes! I received the zumi camera as a gift from my GF (love you marge!) I didn't expect it to be in on my hands that soon. Actually I was just aiming for it, and will buy it in case a lumpsum cash just came in to my account out of no where. But it is mine now!!!

But I was wondering why did she gave me this camera at this point? birthday is 7 months ahead, anniversary is 4 months later, valentines...never mind. All she said was that the zumi is my "reward" for being a finalist in the Cinemalaya film festival, and for finishing my first feature film. Sounds logical? yeah but still it was one of the best material gift I ever had. Thank you honey!

What's my goal from the zumi???? finishing a feature film that entirely uses the zumi cam!!!! but my short term goal is finishing a short film from it... excitied!

The LEAVING official poster! (Philippine premier)

2010-05-16T06:06:00.000-07:00

The official THE LEAVING poster for Philippine premier! I decided to make a simple poster with the stained old-paper look on the design. Notice the design on the background? I got those writings from actual "THIU CHIAM" papers that I got from a nearby chinese taoist temple. By the way "THIU CHIAM" is a ritual that taoist believers do, it's an act of praying to the taoist saints to ask for an advice for a major decision. It's kinda complicated to explain so just watch the film to know more about it. The THIU CHIAM paper watermarks seals up the Chinese feel on the film. The tri color that i used on the background signifies the three color scheme on the three segment of the film...the smoking incense stick design was also inspired with the theme of the leaving nd with the characters' regular visit to the temple. Anyway I'm 85% satisfied with the poster design. It's somehow unique but classic...I love the dirty look of the design and the dried up blood stain effects. Anyways to everyone who's unsatisfied with the design, don't worry I'm planning to make several poster designs for different screenings around the world. will keep you guys updated with it. ANyways I still need to catch up with the submission of requirements deadlines...man love the deadlines! it somehow makes me feel things are going the the exciting stage of filmmaking. By the way I did the poster myself! you know how independent filmmakers are here in the Philippines

The first Ultra-maximum High tech Philippine National elections

2010-05-10T19:33:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gentlemen, we have entered a new chapter in the history of the Philippines. We made a new step by making it on the country's first automated national election. The results are quicker than expected. Right now some mayors are already and officially winners unlike before it will take you around 2-3 weeks for the initial results.

It's funny how the so called automated elections would speed up our voting procedures. But here are the facts: The waiting time for some precinct became longer, more exhausting and sometimes lethal due to some ballot machines that aren't working. There are reports of over 400 machines nationwide that are defective. As a result 25% of the registered voters didn't get the chance to vote because of these techy problems. Now 80% of the election ballots are in, Noynoy Aquino iii, son of former president Cory Aquino and the late senator Ninoy Aquino, and brother of the celebrity horn Kris Aquino, is leading the presidential election. The results...later, another 6 years of a new president's regime...how will we be after 6 years?

Bonjourno Mr. "Q"

2010-05-08T02:26:00.000-07:00

Quentin Tarantino heads the 67th Venice International Film Festival Jury

Post prod, flu, burning weather et al.

2010-05-08T02:18:00.000-07:00

The Leaving's post production is currently on progress, although got delayed for a while due to some schedule differences. Then suddenly I ended up with a flu. Yeah so the next editing session will move to next week. The poster 40% done, BTS footage 90% done just need to check it, film finalization 40% complete...CInemalaya's deadline is at the end of MAY! wow here we go again, another amazing race kind of game and with this kind of weather, oh man x2 effort! Maybe that's one of the reason I got a flu or probably heat stroke. I'm getting well now And by the way I'm also trying to beat the deadline of VENICE INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL, TORONTO INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL, AND LOCARNO INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL and will try to squeeze into the big league, since I can't catch up with CANNES INT. FILM FESTIVAL deadline was on MAY (maybe on my next film). I just need to break into these big festival's barrier, it will definitely start something wonderful for me. Fingers crossed and keep on kicking!

Last shooting day of "The Leaving"

2010-04-27T11:29:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is the last shooting day of the leaving, i would say the 9 days was indeed the most intensive learning moments in my life. I felt like i finished a college degree or something. I'm really thankful to have a crew that are serious about their job. Really thankful that all the things that evolved me to become what I am right now. Fingers crossed! Last day, For the win!

I think we achieved something today (Day 8 of "the Leaving")

2010-04-18T18:22:00.000-07:00

One line: 30 sequences, 24 hours. Wow it seems like a nightmare for a production team huh? Well we did it, Yeah we finished all the 30 sequences in less than 24 hours (approx 22.5 hours). Although most of us were starting to move like zombies apparently. Anyway it was really an achievement, I never thought we could make it. Ofcourse we were forced into that situation coz apparently one of our main casts (LJ Reyes) advised us that she would only be available for one last shooting day, supposedly we were scheduled for 2 more shooting days with her. But due to some personal matters she insisted on finishing it in one day. Anyway it was something to celebrate about, every filmmaker knows how hard it is to finish even just 20 seq. a day. The team were all pumped up, and we finished everything in no time, and probably the best shooting day ever! O h yeah we tried to squeeze in our budget for 2 camera set up. Man it really worked! Hats down to the entire team!!!! especially the art department who made a studio set with their bare hands in 2 days!! thanks guys and sorry about that.

Retreieved my freakin' files!!!!!!!!

2010-04-10T10:49:00.000-07:00

Today, I did it. Maybe it's unimportant to you guys, or probably a simple thing. But today I retrieved all my files from WALDO! (the busted WD 2tb enclosure!)...Yeah it was something I got depressed about a week ago. It was something I find hopeless and dreadful, but now look at me standing tall and proud...smiling and saying "Hey I got my files back!"Anyway just to sum it up, I'm really thankful...no...actually jumping with joy because I got all my personal file back from the busted Hard drive enclosure. Maybe it seems lke a simple solution but believe me in the Philippines setting, it's not! Anyway to those who care about what happened I can outline some sequences of the events:

1. Hard drive got busted, enclosure doesn't turn on anymore, panicked, asked for some friends help, no responses at first finally got one.

2. Went to a friend's place (timothy Tuazon a.k.a. mr. comp expert) late at night, he did some tests, treated us pizza, but with no avail, HD still doesn't work. Tim recommends to send it over to "Peanut" (a.k.a Mr. Computer demi-God, also works as head of Trend Micro R&D), left hard drive to tim's place...

THE NEXT DAY

3. Went with tim to Trend Micro office in Manila, meet with "Peanut", peanut says "let's try" left HD drive and enclosure to "Peanut". Went home...

4. Got a call from Tim saying peanut somehow made the HD running: Good news....The hard drives are running fine. The bad news: No files can be read by a Windows based file recovery software....meaning they can't see any files from it...I panicked. Tim tells slim chances of hope. I felt depressed but not hopless.

5. Called Western DIgital Philippines (sucks), told them about my problem, I got negative responses from them saying they can only give me a new HARD Drives but not the files, pissed off...anxious, trying to find another way. Also got a call from tim saying tons of reported incident to peanut regarding a busted WD 2tb my book studio edition 2 (same as waldo) ironically peanut also received a similar report on that same day I reported mine, (told myself WD sucks!)

6. I realized I got another Hard drive I used before to keep those files that were inside the busted HD enclosure, already erased from that hard drive but tried to perform "DATA Recovery 2 & 3" (A software for recovering data for MAC on that Hard drive, crossed fingers!...

7. Fail to recover past deleted files!...panicked again...starting to lose hope...but not entirely...looking for other ways. Ask timothy for advice, tim tells me a similar HD enclosure that's working, with a mac OS computer "could" do, tim says no promises and chances are slim but we could try. Felt demoralized again, but still think thought positively

8. I texted "peanut" when I could borrow working enclosure of Similar model of HD..."peanut" never replied, maybe busy, maybe annoyed. Anyway must find a way.....

9. made a shout out on Facebook stating "I need a WD HD enclosure blahhhhh"....unexpectedly, a fellow filmmaker and a fellow Cinemalaya finalist responded saying he has the same HD enclosure that's working but it's with his editor (Light in the end of the tunnel). I immediately asked his editor if I can use this fellow filmmaker's HD for recovering my files, he agreed (excited about it, thanks so much Teng and Dempster!)

10. Went to this fellow filmmaker's Editor's place, (Thanks Dempster!) he even fed us some snacks...chat with him with some topics, tried to put my working hard drive (but busted enclosure) to his working enclosure,,,, stupid WD design hard to pull out Hard drives, very bad design Hard drive plastic handles easily breaks off, useless handle, no release buttons or whatever! My hands ached, Dempster's hand too, it took 3 people to release the Hard Drives from enclosure and voila it opened the files that tim says was missing!!!! and it works!!!! I transfered those files of mine from those Hard drives with busted enclosure to a working Hard drive back up of mine....Finally all files retrieved!

11. Went home smiling, all files retrieved, thanked fellow filmmakers who extended hands to help...everyone happy especially me!!!!! Then made back up files........

Ok I survived this mess, but ofcourse I'm generous enough to share some advices on how to overcome this kind of mess.

-always back up, ok we got some budget problems, but you should back up no matter how small the budget you have, ask a friend for a spare HD. always back up with another hard drive, or use mirror 1 set up on your 2tb HD set up. In my case if you have a 2tb hard drive raided 0, format it to RAID 1. to have more back up capabilities. But you'll get half the memory space on your 2 hard drives capacity.

-If an expert says you got a slim chance, don't be demoralized coz u still got a chance.

-If a raid 0 formatted hard drives got problems ask someone who's expert on comp. first. Before doing something about it. You don't want to destroy the RAID 0 structure on your hard drive, meaning 2 hard drives are working as one.

-Think positive, you'll need it.

- It's not entirely your fault, there are always some technical problems with these new techs now adays!

-finally WESTERN DIGITAL HArd drives sucks! bad design bad, bad service, bad effectivity and bad efficiency, don't buy it!

U can message me if you have any questions regarding the steps I made on this particular problem.

Isabel....I'm inloooooooove!!!!!

2010-04-07T18:20:00.000-07:00

New found love -----> The "zumi" camera

The Leaving, written and directed by Ian Loreños (me)

2010-04-03T08:04:00.000-07:00

help please! Hard drive busted

2010-04-03T05:24:00.000-07:00

There are indeed things that money just can't buy. Although an external Hard drive costs alot, and indeed money can buy it, but the files that are stored inside are priceless. It's like a part of my history, the pictures, the files, or whatever is inside that Hard drive is a part of my being. In my previous posts i said that "WALDO" just died, yep. It's dead, and the worst part of it is that I can't retrieve my personal files from it. I already talked to several computer experts and did several programs in order to retrieve the files in it but still no avail, they can't retrieve the files inside because the enclosure is dead, so the best way is to transfer it to another working and similar enclosure, but the not so good idea of western digital of pairing the enclosure with the hard drives is lame! It means that the hard drives can only work for the same enclosure that it was packaged with. Geez! But i think partly, i'm also responsible for the mess. I should've have "raid 1" to give more security to the hard drives' files, but due to budget constraints of saving up much memory to avoid buying another hard drive is the one that shit things up.

I really felt bad about it at the same time mad at Western digital for making a defective-expensive-supposed to be reliable-hard drive! And added to the fact that i was trying to do some stuff that got delayed due to the Hard drive crash especially on a supposed to be holiday season, i could've been to the beach or something. My friends in trend micro ph also did a level 2 data retrieval operation but find no readable files in it, although they are using a windows retrieval system but right now they're on a vacation and I have to wait for monday to go to their office and make a shot at using "DATA RESCUE 3" a software particularly for mac that retrieves data from a dead hard drive, sounds cool huh? hope it works, although the guys gave me a bad sign that they're using a multi OS based software for retrieving the files, it should've done the work. Anyway it's worth a shot, i mean it's 4 years of files/life in that hard drive and i won't give up unless i found a way to retrieve them. I feel like a part of my life is missing right now. anybody knows about retrieving files from a busted enclosure of a 2tb WD my book studio 2 edition. please help.

Waldo's dead for now

2010-03-28T09:44:00.000-07:00

I had one of those sunday mornings where you can't help but to envy others who are just strolling along the malls and relaxingly lying on their couch while watching T.V. this morning "WALDO" (My western digital 2tb External HD) stopped functioning again. this time, for real. I tried several times on connecting and disconnecting all the cables, literally did almost everything just to make it work again. But it just stopped working, nada. I'm starting to feel the "God of filmmaking" is playing or rather testing me again. this time too a much higher level. I just don't know what to do, trying to beat all the deadlines and boom here's another big problem. The problem: Inside the HD are VERY sensitive and VERY important stuffs that i need to use now, i can't just let it fly like that. I'm literally in a panic mode again. lots of problems, less time, one brain and 1 body. But at the end of the day i still need to fix these mess, no time for pouting and whining. God of filmmaking here i am again, trying to beat your clock again just like before! but please hope this will be the last beat the clock challenge, i'll post what happened to this case soon. tomorrow is another day

Waldo almost lost it

2010-03-26T10:05:00.000-07:00

I was really in a panic mode when "WALDO" (my 2tb external HD) suddenly stopped working...my lips became pale...really pale. I started to sweat, it's hot anyway. darn i'll be damned if this thing stop working. I don't want to lose a $300 stuff just like that. And the life line of my film career. A lot of things came into my mind like "what if i dissect this thing???...not right..it might get worse." and things like "what if I return this thing tomorrow and ask for replacement? shit it already have some significant data in it." and stuff like "oh no i'm dead...im not gonna be able to finish my film!!" heeeeyyyy...too negative, cancel cancel! Though I wasn't sure what happened. maybe it's just the faulty twisted firewire connection...probably the power supply...tested it several time. Anyway it somehow just worked again.. it really scared the crap out of me. lessons:

- don't be excited like an elementary student that wud dissect their toys like the frogs they operated on their science class. It's not as simple as that, please don't open the casing of your external HD! don't try to be a moden day mcgyver

-don't call 911, it's useless and...expensive, and they couldn't even help you out especially if you're here in the Philippines, instead call a geeky friend or classmate

-don't ever think WIL can help you, coz...he never does.

-unplug before checking anything again

-don't throw it on the floor out of frustation!

-everything will just turn out fine, just pat your "HARD DRIVE"

-don't submurge it in water thinking "it just need a little cleaning"

-talk to it like your best friend dog. tell your problems to it. even your latest hobby or your crush.

bottom line: don't panic, look for solutions and Love your stuffs!!!!

filmmaking 102...shit happens

2010-03-23T10:30:00.000-07:00

Through the filming of my first feature film, i realized a lot of "new" things. Although these things are already cliché to many, but experiencing it myself makes it more realistic for me. Here are some things I learned:

1. shit happens = no matter how prepared you are, no matter how good you are, no matter how perfect everything seems to be. Shit will always spurt out of no where. Just be prepared on major troubleshooting instantly!

2. blank is always better = when shooting on a location, especially apartments. It is better to have a blank apartment preferably abandoned, it is much easier to create a set from it rather than moving things from an apartment that has some residents you'll disturb.

3. bad cop wanted! = a bad cop who'll yell, pressure everyone, and be the bad guy/gal is very essential to a production's success.

4. one crew screws up...everything screws up! = every staff member must do their job successfully, if one of the crew especially one of the major staffs screws up, shit will happen!

5. sleepwalkers are crap! = the ones who sleep alot on the set are ironically the ones who did a shitty work!

6. even angels could be angry = even the nicest person in the production could become grouchy when tired.

7. manual control = if you don't tell...yell, no one will move.

8. no noise control = it doesn't matter how quiet you try to be, a production set will always be as noisy as a banging can

9. crowd sucks! = the spectators are always a pain in the ass. You can't control them, you adjust to them

10. smart ass unwanted = someone will always be a smart ass, only to that extent, nothing more out of them.

11. The director is the whipping boy = although you have someone to work for a specific job, but when shit happens, the director is always the fall out guy.

12. Money from no where = when the production is short of budget, a miraculous fund will come not from your family, not from close friends but to someone you wouldn't expect.

13. a director should be an asshole = a director shouldn't be a saint, when something's wrong, say it out loud. when things are crappy. put a finger out and scare the hell out of everyone, even the actors

14. independent invalid = the true independent filmmaking, is only true when you spend your own money and decide everything on your own.

15. "sorry u suck!...goodbye." = people in your production who did a shitty job, without remorse, without even apologizing for their unprofessionalism...sorry but this is the end of our professional relationship. Good luck on your career and you suck!

Fail Blog!!!

2010-03-20T09:54:00.000-07:00

Love this site been a fan for a year now. I treat it as stress reliever and things that makes me smile even though things are fu**ed up...you'll end up laughing your ass out because of the people's stupidities.

failblog website --------> failblog

more experience for day 3-6 of The Leaving

2010-03-10T00:26:00.000-08:00

tomorrow, March 11,2010 will start day 3 of "the leaving". This time I'm more prepared w/ more experience. Although the long sequences of the story is the pain in the ass.. but hey no pain no gain! We'll have a straight shooting days...whoah i wonder if i can sleep well the next day...glad one of our sponsors will provide us accommodation during those 4 days of shoot!!!! thnx Binondo suites Manila!

Check out the hotel----> Binondo suites Manila, Philippines

from pocket, to use

2010-03-08T06:56:00.000-08:00

I already receieved my first tranch check from CInemalaya. It's funny how it just passed through my hands and...gone. As if I've never felt the money coming into my pockets. some xxx amount came in to my bank acct but it is already set to repay for the project's balances. ANother xxx amount just came in from a someone who gave me a good deal but will soon say goodbye to the check. Being in a film production feels like im also in a business, running up and down to find funds. Actually I felt bad about myself, borrowing money for the first time in my 27 years of biological existence in this world. The first time I personally ask someone "could please lend me some cash?" I never imagined I will ask that question in my entire life. But nevertheless, there's always time for a first time. I just feel so stained, and I feel so poor. It's not a bad thing to borrow money but I never thought I will come to a point of desperation just for the sake of filming this movie. Gladly I'm slowly crawling up to fill up the budget for the production...need money now, and tomorrow! Must find all those cash scattered around the world.

2 shots down = more to go!

2010-03-07T07:06:00.000-08:00

The official production of "The leaving" started. I was excited and at the same time anxious about the starting jitters thing. I never thought it would be that draining to direct a film. I couldn't even imagine we finished filming most of the "heavy" on the first 2 days of production as a first time director on my first movie. Wow, the hardest part was to realized something in my vision that is hindered by current realistic constraints. Like the size of the rooms, on the set lack of equip, etc. Every aspect of the production must be perfect, if something goes wrong, you must be resourceful enough to find solutions right away. I' pretty sure that I'm still a first time director at this point but everything feels so natural to me, as if im doing this forever. But I'm not saying I'm a genius or something and everything was perfect, but the at first time the camera rolled, at that point, I already envisioned everything before I even start shooting. And I'm sure i would love to do these things even if the world turns upside down. The experience was exhausting but cool. Still need to learn and to discover while working. Love lots of things, hate some. Love some of the crew, hate some, love the observers, hate the exaggerated spectators. Love the ambiance, hate the sound of motors from vehicles. Love my job! first 2 days are done, the next 6 days will be better, sure of it.

...........indie..........

2010-02-24T18:01:00.000-08:00

I'm starting to feel the pressure in the Philippine independent filmmaking world. actually i'm in a pressure cooker right now. Tangled in a situation where I'm pushed over the edge and forced to replaced an actor which the "higher beings" think isn't suited for the role. At that point I understand now the meaning of politics and bureaucracy in the Filmmaking world. As the writer,Director, Producer of an independent film, I think I got the right to choose the casts that I know is suitable for the film. If at this point, the decision of the filmmakers are being booted out, the meaning of independence is already void. Although good = absorbed, bad = trash. But there comes a point where you're pushed over the edge and forced to make a decision based on other's subjective judgement.

Now I'm getting the full flavor of independent filmmaking in this country, just like the word democracy in this country; it's just a word. Coordinating with an "independent organization" doesn't make you independent, maybe the authentic independent filmmaking only works for people who fund their own films. Right now, I'm in a contemplating mode for making a decision with a gun on my head. Will I stay put and stand up with my choice? or give in to the system? only one choice.

I'm serious about this

2010-02-23T14:11:00.000-08:00

I woke up today at 430 am try to kick off early and finish the script. Yesterday I woke up also at 430 to start my 2nd material shots day. I'm dead serious about this filmmaking thing, for the first time in my life I've never felt so inspired waking up early morning (dawn?), for the first time in my life waking up at 430 am became automatic, I think everyone needs to try something once in a while....I'm so pumped up doing this film...very excited on our footage yesterday, i love my team for sticking with me on this thing, that's why must work harder than before. I'm the director and it will all start from me. So now back to the script revisions

good = digest, bad = dump

2010-02-16T20:53:00.000-08:00

At this stage of the pre-production stage, it's really exhausting at the same time stressful the planning process and making everything work out before we start shooting. Because of the budget constraints, the time limit, every needs to be perfect or at least we need to have patches to every wrong move that will be done on the production. I'm already feeling the moments why directors are bitchy especially on the indie films. Especially to the ones that are not used to pressure and multi-tasking situations...if you're the director/producer, everything will pass through you...all the decisions, all the problems all the pressure...but nevertheless all those negative aura are important and essential to be surpassed before I could consider myself as a true director.

I was warned before, that folks on the "higher" position will bug you, suggest crazy things, delude you to do something that they only think is good...but not necessary good for you. These factors are actually the most frustrating parts in the filmmaking process. I mean where's the independent filmmaking there when you want me to do as you like??? geezz...

But i'm not really stubborn on this matter, I know the fact that they know somethings that I don't know about filmmaking...yes, i'm considered as a young filmmaker...new...inexperienced compare to you. But I have my own vision and my own style, maybe it doesn't suit everyone, so be it. But I learned important things while undergoing in these situations, that ok you can tell me stuffs that you think could improve my film...I will listen and will consider em...I will nod, smile at you but inside my mind is a super powered idea filter that will digest helpful "cool" ideas and advices and the rest will be trash.

Just an advise to the others who are victimized by the authoritarianism system...good = absorb, trash = dump...but always smile!

First Solo article about moi..yahoooooo!!!!!

2010-02-14T10:15:00.000-08:00

Tsinoy filmmaker will direct Cinemalaya 2010 entry The Leaving

Thank you sir Mell Navarro

Feels like Simon Cowell and the rest of the gang

2010-02-08T08:24:00.000-08:00

It is my first time to attend a casting call for my film. It's strange to be in the spot wherein I got the power to make or break someone. But it was a fun experience. The audition set by the CCP is way different from the past years. This year, all of the finalists agreed to make the audition similar to american idol to speed up the screening process. Different from last year when the ones who are auditioning are given the moment to show an acting piece, now that ate up alot of time for the audition. This year, the screening process I think was better base on the past finalists. Anyways I felt like I'm one of the judges in a reality show audition. My memories on auditioning in a reality T.V. show flashed in my mind. I remember falling in line while sunbathing in a warm humid afternoon with atleast a thousand of other people who's also auditioning. Then I ended up with nothing. That's was an exhausting experience for me...It's funny to know how far I've been through all that tiring audition. It still feels surreal to see talented theater actors, models and other veteran actors auditioning in front of me. That moment I felt that things are starting to change as far as my place in this world, maybe this is the moment where I will be a "boss" of a long and unwinding road in my film making career...or probably not.

7'6 ft long story flow

2010-02-03T21:01:00.000-08:00

Me and my sister/AD made a 7'6 ft long story flow for the leaving. Yeah it's kinda complicated and we fixed some loop holes from the connections in the three stories. Glad to have a sister/AD on your side. Actually she's the only one who understands the flow of the script. Anyway's now we'll try to thread all those fixes and reflect it on my script...so that my team won't go crazy over understanding the story. ANyways now we're off to fix the script breakdowns...(boring!)

Not your ordinary director

2010-01-30T10:37:00.000-08:00

I still feels surreal about the "director" thing. I still can't get into the reality of me being a will-be-director. You everything seems so sudden. A few years back I was still writing this script that no one cared about and now I'll be directing it and everyone of my close friends are excited about it. It's just feels so strange...writing and revising the script already felt like a daily routine to me, letting go of it feels uncomfortable. It feels like filming it was never part of the plan or maybe I'm just startled with the agony of the overall process.

Being called a director was just a dream. Filmmaking was just an aspiration, it's weird that poeple call me "direk" or "direk ian" the funny thing is that people sometimes make strange comments about me especially when I informed them about my great news on filming my script. Especially to those whom I haven't seen in a while. They will make those strange comments like: "wow congratulations! That's why you look like a director now." look like a director??? what does that mean?! I don't go around bringing a director's chair and a megaphone with me, I also don't wear sunglasses with a beret on my head and got a long hair and mustache. So what makes me look like a director?! Actually I wasn't offended by it at all but I must say I'm not a big fan of the stereotypical artist/filmmaker look. I mean, people got this idea of an artist look (long haired guy who got glasses, goatee and never took a bath) I mean we can do great films even though we don't have a ponytail and a goatee. We don't have to frame everyone using our hands in order to look like I'm creating a shot on everything. I mean it's just not me.

I still love wearing what I want and where I'm comfortable with. Being a filmmaker can only be seen on the films you made... If you've never done any films, you're not a filmmaker, period. and not on how you look like one. Maybe that's the beauty about filmmaking, is that it's an art form where we need to spend lots of effort, discipline, and an ocean of thoughts. That's why it is yet to become a mainstream "rock and roll" thing like the DSLR frenzy where rich folks call themselves photographers just because they got the money to spend on expensive camera equipments and accessories. And because of the digital thing, taking pictures became easier than making pancakes. But sorry not in filmmaking.

In a month or so, The production will already start and by that time is the only moment i could officially start my directing/filmmaking career. I will promise to do more than my best. I will make a potential award winning film, although it won't be a walk in the park. But I will surely squeeze out all my energy to make it a hella awesome film. As of now pre-production is still on the process. thinking, planning, allocating is still the common denominator on my present situation. Story board will be done this week!

Article from Business World on 1/25/2010

2010-01-25T20:52:00.000-08:00

I didn't remember some of those things I said in the press con but I think it didn't made me look bad

Business world 1/25/2010

2010 just another year, or maybe not

2010-01-09T23:32:00.000-08:00

it's the year 2010. I feel weird typing the year as "2010" it seems like i'm used to the 2009 thing. ANyway 2009 was a erratic year to me. The start of the year was stagnant and quite dull...then the last quarter was quite ecstatic and surreal. I'm really thankful that 2009 was a year of hope to me. The year when I can feel that the time for me to "rise". I want to list down the things I want to thank about.

I want to thank my supportive parents who never pressure me to be rich right away. (i love you)
I want to thank my sisters who are also my best friends and siblings. (I love you)
I want to thank my grandma for cooking for me at times when I was busy.
I want to thank my girlfriend who always pressures me but never stop loving me (i love you).
I want to thank my girlfriend's family, the tuazon family and my relatives that represents my 2nd family.
I want to thank the thepiratebay.org and mininova.org for the free movies and softwares they share.
I want to thank apple for inventing this cool machine called the "mac"
I want to thank the inventor of the "Internet" for making me closer to anyone at anywhere.
I want to thank all of the filmmakers who inspired me to be one.
I would like to thank my new address for being a lucky house for me.
I would like to thank san miguel beer for sedating me during my pressured moments.
I would like to thank the U.S. economy for making rich people suffer too.
I want to thnk my kino (film) friends who guided me and help me on my films
I want to thank Berlinale Talent Campus who inspired me on continuing my script
I want to thank "The secret" for giving me hope in this cruel world.
I want to thank all the cool film directors for inspiring mr to be one.

I know there are other things in the world that I surely forgot to thank, but I know I'm always thankful for you...Good luck for 2k10!

Christmas season is a season of...overratedness!

2009-12-20T07:49:00.000-08:00

Christmas season is here! But is there such thing as a Christmas season? So you mean you will only be generous to others just because it's Christmas? It's Christmas that's why we need to share? Maybe it's just overrated and it's probably the businesses who invented these taglines. You know Santa Claus? I was also once a kid that was fooled with that bearded fat guy on a gay suit. Later I realized he's a hoax, and he was only used in a Coke ad before.. Then look at him now, he became the face of the Christmas spirit. I think Christmas is a season where the car traffic is sick! I think it's the season when people are going gaga over sales in the mall. Outside the streets are hold-uppers dwelling around the corners. I mean that's the reality of what Christmas season is bringing us. And besides there's no zero tolerance on crime and other negative acts. Maybe I'm just not a fan of Christmas, or I just hate how the season stuffs the bad feeling on our faces. it makes the sad sadder, it makes the poor look poorer, it makes the scarred feel the pain of its scar. Or maybe I'm just one of them?

aging doesn't mean your getting older

2009-12-16T00:56:00.000-08:00

Today is probably one of my most self-confusing birthday in my entire life at this moment. I'm grateful to have a lot of friends and love ones who greets me (and counting) and who remembers me on my birthday, but...when I got home, I'm all alone. I'm so happy for being one of the finalists of Cinemalaya as a birthday gift, but it won't be complete until I finish the film. I'm so glad that I got new friends who appreciates me especially on my special day but...My family aren't beside me on this day.

As I age I became more and more tolerant to these kinds of sadness, as I age these sadness just became a viand to my joyous and successful life ahead of me. As I age I realized that you can't have everything that you want because life is meant to be imperfect. Yes, as I age I became more and more human, I became less and less susceptible to pain and disappointments. As I age my judgement broadens, my visions more in-depth. As I age I am slowly realizing the real me.

CCP announces 2010 Cinemalaya full length category finalists

2009-12-08T23:56:00.000-08:00

2010 (6th) Cinemalaya Philippine Independent Film Festival finalists

"The Leaving 離別" is officially one of the 2010 Cinemalaya Finalists!!!!!!

2009-12-05T04:29:00.000-08:00

It's been three years since I had one of the creepiest nightmare...when I woke up the next morning, I was enthralled with such detail in my dream. I started writing my nightmare's details that I remembered at the back of my mom's used office papers...when I stopped writing...I realized that I already made a story for a feature film. This was way back in 2006 when I was still taking up a business course in college, although i love films, I never thought of making one until that fine day. but I always felt that there's a creative force that's waiting to get out from my system. I also integrated personal references to the story. And so since them I started to love filmmaking...later on I became obsessed with it. In an instant filming my script became one of my dearest dreams.

Sometimes destiny seems good to me. When one day my sister helped me out on submitting the rough concept of the story to Berlinale Talent Campus...back then I didn't even know what was it. Eventually I got lucky and my script got in the Berlinale Talent Campus. And that experience was really awesome, there I also met fellow filmmakers that I shared ideas with, and I met some friends too. That experience inspired me to go on and complete the script and the ultimate goal is to make it into a film. As time goes by I also learned and so the story also underwent series of "evolutions" and with those sleepless nights, hindrances, and endless questions to my advisers...I finally finished "The Leaving ".

After finishing the script I suddenly fell flat I started to think: "what now?" I was really confused on the next step after finishing the script. Oh yeah start to film it. But just like 98% of the filmmakers couldn't produce their films by their own money and so the next thing to do is to find a financier/producer for my script. But the biggest question was "who, where and how?" and this time I want to break away from my sister's shadow, although I would still love to work with her, but at that point I wanted to learn, I wanted to do this with my bare hands if you know what I mean...I was really eager to do this thing by my own to feel the ecstasy of getting something by your own will. Maybe it's for my own sake too. And so I did research and do some video experiments just to have a glimpse on what filmmaking is like. And So I relied on international funding organization like the Hubert Bals (Netherland), Cinemart (Rotterdam), Talent Project Market (Berlin), Cinemabuhay (Philippines), and a whole lot more. But guess what none of these orgs gave me the shot, maybe they are thinking: "this small fry who didn't have any formal film education, haven't even made a feature film yet, or even a narrative short film who suddenly wants us to give him money to start his film?" . Honestly I was starting to doubt my ability back then also thought of myself as a "one hit wonder" when my script was accepted in Berlin. But then I stood strong kept on trying and now I finally made it...as of today I'm officially one of the CCP-Cinemalaya 2010 Finalists, it means that the Cultural Center of the philippines together with the Cinemalaya Organization have given me the helping hand to produce my very first feature film. It is probably one of the finest moments in my life as of now. It is indeed a dream came true. I was so happy that I didn't know how to react...all I can say is thank you guys who believed in me and supported my stuff! Now the leaving is officially on the pre-production stage!

Just had my real time filmschool 101

2009-12-04T03:16:00.000-08:00

Maybe this blog entry would b one heck of a complain list of mine. Actually no. Maybe the experience that I had these past few days serves as my realistic filmmaking lessons to my soon to be filmmaking career. I really can't imagine that alot of things had happened to me in just 3 days. I can't imagine why it happened to me all at once...sometimes I'm thinking that maybe the "God of Films" is testing me in someway. And so I just had a real taste of what filmmaking is like...

ISSUE 1:
3 days ago I was asked for an interview for the cinemalaya film festival (WOW i'm gonna be one of the finalist!)...well officially all of us are just "being considered" they sent an email to me with out a "congratulations!" so it means we will still undertake some interviews or whatever. So anyway the interview day comes..again I asked the cinemalaya secretary if I should be bringing something before the interview and as usual she said no. So there I was in the interview, felt like I'm in an interrogation room or something with the Cinemalaya organizers. To cut the story short I was asked to make a short film or few sequences from my script they required me to make some because of my lack of directing experience in narrative films...ofcourse they got a point but the problem was I need to start the production with just 2 days before deadline to finish it!!!! yep 2 DAYS!!!! from the story, production, editing. They want us to make miracles. I was really shocked and didn't know what to do. But I got no choice it's a make make or break situation...and it's a big one to just break away from it. And so I picked up the pieces of my brain screws...and start thinking....I'm really glad that a good friend of mine who happens to be a director/DOP himself is continuously helping and guiding me...he's a cool guy and he helped me all the way from the camera to some actors/crew and by the way I got no budget for this one. But it was necessary so I spend out some cash for this thing. And so we had formed a small team and contacted the dude who gave me a "friendly fee" for his panasonic P2. thnx joe! and so I was glad that I could start this thing....

ISSUE 2:
The location....the concept for the short film was supposed to be in a school...a quiet empty school...but since they only gave me 2 days to stuff this thing..I couldn't get an exact location for the shoot cause it's weekdays, and during weekdays kids go to school...I tried to contact my formal schools and other schools that would be worth trying but it's almost impossible to get the exact location. And So I went to plan B: change location. And so I also chaged the script 'cause the dialogues are somewhat linked with the dialogue. Oh yeah It was also a pain in the ass. So anyway from the school setting I've decided to change the location to an old abandoned house...ofcourse not necessarily abandoned...we make it work as long as it has the character. But I really had a hard time especially time is ticking away fast...I need to find a suitable location. I tried to call up some of my friends who have some extra space especially i they have an old pad...oh by the way the film concept is supposed to be horror/suspense that's why I needed character settings. SO Anyway I was really glad (at first) when one of my friend offered his house for the prod. my mind was already sailing when I thought everything was going smooth...not until when my friend told me the location can't be used for the prod. Are you kidding me?! it was 11pm and the location is not available!!! The reason behind it was his fucked up brother who never came home suddenly showed up...bossy...and yeah fucked up...that's why my friend could lend me their location 'cause his brother's all fucked up and might mess up with us. Yeah he's that fucked up...well anyway I saw in my friends eyes the embarrassment but he couldn't do anything for the moment. And so in the middle of the night I stayed up texting...calling friends for an old house..man that was a crtical thing...gladly I was given an "allelujah" moment when one of my friends got an old house that they converted the ground floor as office and the upper floor is almost abandoned (perfect!) no more distractions this time and we were good to go for the shoot. It's cool if you're nice and you got nice friends too.

ISSUE 3
the Post....all went well in the production...the staffs and the talents were cool...actually there's only five of us including the talents...you see how rushed everything was...everyone had their shares of laughs...so anyway it's pack up time. I remembered it was arund 5pm when we called it a day. Then it's time to transfer the P2 files to a mac computer, and time to return the cam. so we went to the guys house. returned the cam, paid the rental fee, and got the files from the shoot. So I got home around 8pm. immediately get all the files from my external HD and I was ready to edit the thing...I erased some files from my computer, it takes me 30 minutes, transfering another thirty minutes, doing the rough cute around 1 more hour... so in short it was 11pm everything's doing fine, until I realized that some shots that we took were gone...and those were important shots...again I was completely anxious...again 11pm...the curse hour! Then eventually the missing footages were recorded on the other memory card so in a way I was kinda relieved bu the problem was how to get it, he could send it online because the files ate up around 1.5gb and so I got only one choice...to rushed to his place to grab those files..yeah at 11pm...so anyway I got the files and startediting it. Oh I officially start editing at around 1230am...so officially I got only 18 hours left before submitting the final demo. I hardly noticed the time when I edit...and so it was already 12pm in the afternoon...I said "well I still got 6 hours left" then as hours passed by...it came down to 3pm and the cinemalaya secretary suddenly texted me saying I should deliver the finish thing at 530...man it feels like my lifeline starts to dry out and I haven't finished editing it yet!!! man again I was in a nervous situation...I start walking back and forth when I start exporting and burning the file. Until 4pm comes!!!! 2 hours left....it's gonna be a "run lola run" kinda thing that I'll do....but gladly with my wisdom, agility and strength I managed to submit it on the location!!!! 30 minutes earlier man!!! just beat the buzzer...

So now all I can do is wait. It's now out of my hands, I'm sure I did my best. ALthough there were 1st day shoot jitters but got no choice but just to keep on shooting. And although I'm not impressed with my direction...but still it's an "ok" short film....oh by the way in case if you're curious how much the production was:

talents: (2) php1,000= 2,000 (US$40)
camera: php2,500 ($50)
DOP = friendly meals and commuter's fee! = php 200 ($5)
A.director = friendly meals and commuter's fee! = php 350 ($8)
Other misc. (including transpo) = php600 ($10)

So all in all I spent around 5, 500 = $113

enjoy film making!!!!

Now I wait...

2009-11-21T02:05:00.000-08:00

After all the tension on catching up with the deadlines. I finally submitted all the requirements on the 2010 Cinemalaya to become one of the finalists. Even though they acknowledged the semi-finalist on the last week of the deadline the additional requirements, but I somehow managed to finish all of 'em. The 186 pages screenplay w/ translation, the mind twisting financial budget plan, the aimless search for sponsors, all of those things. Finally done. So now it's the waiting game, I mean that's really all I can do now...it's all out of my hands now. I did my part and so I expect the "universe" will do its work to give me what I deserve...I don't want to think the negative part yet, the important thing is I stick to the excitement of the "waiting the big thing to happen" game.

186 pages script, is that Normal?

2009-11-13T07:47:00.000-08:00

Today I just submitted the "Final" full length screenplay to the Cinemalaya office for the 2010 Cinemalaya. You know sometimes I see myself being Filipino-Chinese or "Tsinoy" as they say as an advantage you know you speak another dialect, that you have another culture to cherish. It's sounds nice...but when you start writing a screenplay all those good things will turn bad. Of course depends on your concept. For me I like to write something based on my hometown...somewhere I'm really familiar with and so the concept of "The Leaving" is particularly based on the Chinatown community in Manila. And if we say "CHinatown" we speak Chinese...and so the characters in the story speak Chinese. The ugly part kicks in...some of the characters' dialogue are written in Chinese...so would the Filipino readers would understand it? of course through an accurate translation...in short I have to translate all Chinese words/ and Including tagalog to English. why? English is more universal. So I think that is where the 186 pages of full-script comes in. I think excluding all the translations the full script would probably be arround 140 pages...still a long film. I remembered when I was still in College and doing my thesis project was really a pain in the ass...but after finishing this script, it made me realize how easy is a school thesis compare to a real life project. Well anyway Good luck to me

Cinemanila Machinima with me

2009-11-03T20:57:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Ron Lim of Manila Bulletin for featuring my works in the said broadsheet...by the way my head looks humongous don't you think so?

By the way if you want to read the whole article, check out the link---->

http://www.mb.com.ph/articles/227807/the-wonderful-craft-machinima

Probably the most disgusting movie I've ever seen...

2009-11-01T06:38:00.000-08:00

It's All hollow's eve...here in Manila the festive is not the same as the western world. Although there are also holloween costume parties and stuff but it is more of season where people gather in the cemetery to commemorate their love ones' who already passed away. I don't want to go with the tradition as usual, I'm planning to visit my deceased relatives after the all souls day season here as we call it. I'm avoiding the rush. Anyway, just for the festivity's sake I also want to enjoy the season. So I did what everyone is doing on this holloween season; yes you're right Watch a horror flick! Although this year I aimed for zombie flicks as it is less scary...I don't want to scare the hell out of me. You know just to feel the season...besides it's been awhile since I've watched a zombie flick. So anyway I searched for "the best zombie movies of all time" and no surprise some familiar titles came out like "Dawn of the dead", "Night of the living dead", "28 days later", "zombi 2" etc. But there was one movie that caught my eye the title is called "Braindead" what makes it sound interesting? the film was made by Peter jackson! Yup the brain behind the LOTR trilogy, Heavenly creatures, and the new Kingkong. It is probably his first attempt on making a horror movie. At first I was starting to get bored with the comical and exagerated actings, it is probably intended as a dark/gory/comedy. As the story goes on..and the zombie scenes are starting to pitch in it's starting to get exciting. Actually it was probably one of the most advanced presthetics/Prod. design zombie flicks at that time. The robotics used were astounding. Every gory scene was well made. Peter Jackson is indeed genius. He pushed the limits of a gory zombie flick on this one. But I still can't get over the 2 zombies who fucked each other then bore a child zombie?! strange...but I like how the film showed unconventional gory scenes especially the "Giant zombie" and the moving organs from the crushed zombie...cool 5 star zombie movie! probably one of the most gory movie of al time!

I am one of the 2010 Cinemalaya Semi-finalists! Hurrah!

2009-10-28T07:30:00.000-07:00

I got a surprising e-mail about 3 days ago. It's an e-mail I've been waiting for quite sometime now. An e-mail from the Cinemalaya competition 2010 saying I'm one of the semi-finalists!!!! Hurrah!!!! Oh just want to make a small intro about Cinemalaya. "Cinemalaya is a film funding organization in the Philippines, an arm of the Cultural Center of the Philippines (CCP) . Every year Cinemalaya chooses 10 worthy finalists from the entrants to help them produce their own film by funding the ten finalists Php 500,000 grant each (around US$10,000). It's a big thing you know, although ot's only Php500,000. I've been waiting for quite sometime on this kind of opportunity to produce my script (The Leaving). That's why tomorrow, October 29,2009, I need to attend an interview to "Place of the Gods", the "Gods" I'm pertaining to are the officers of the CInemalaya competition. I'm not sure who exactly they are but I heard they are composed of prominent actors/actresses, directors, and other high officials of the CCP. I will face the "Gods" tomorrow what will they ask me. Although it is a great news being considered being a semi-finalist, but there are also bad news. I heard we are currently 25 semi-finalists, after the interview tomorrow they will schedule us again for the "pitch", it's more like a proposal presentation again in front of the Gods. The "pitch" is more or less the judgement scaler whether they will choose someone or not. Then lastly they will choose entrants among the 25 semi-finalsts and will be proclaimed as the "finalists". It's a long and nerve racking process huh?! But Anyway, I have high hopes for this project and I will express all my thoughts tomorrow regarding my vision on my project. Wish me luck!

"Worship The Will" made it on the 11th Cinemanila International Film Festival (Machinima Category)

2009-10-21T09:18:00.000-07:00

On October 20th, 2009 was the night when the screening and awarding for the 1st Cinemanila Machinima Competition took off, as part of the Prestigious Cinemanila International FIlm Festival. This Year Cinemanila found its new home in Global City, Taguig city (The Fort). Indeed the Fort was the perfect place for the event.

I was excited with the said event and never had any expectations to win, I wanted to win ofcourse but I was there for the film festival atmosphere. The artists get together to an event where the only goal is to exhibit the excellence of film. Wow I was really overwhelmed with the crowd. Artists, Filmmakers, Actors, the Media, the elites groups of society gathered together in one event. I even got my first ever red carpet walk. Not really an official red carpet walk. I've also met the Philippine director Brilliante Mendoza who just won the 2009 Cannes Int. Film Festival. American Writer Director Paul Schrader (Raging Bull, Mishima etc.) was also there. I mean wow it was really an International Film Festival event. Anyways I'm proud to announce that "Worship the Will" bagged the audience award for music video on the 1st Cinemanila Machinima Competition. Although the Machinima Category was just a side-category and so Machinima winners didn't get a cool "Bulol" trophy that are traditionally given to Cinemanila film festival winners. Boohoo! I was really aiming for that trophy that was designed by a Filipino National Artist Napoleon Abueva. It could be a great remembrance for me. Nonetheless, I'm thankful to be a announced as a winner. I didn't get the chance to have a speech and so I will make a brief speech.

First of all I want to my family who endlessly supporting me and my crafts my sisters, my mom and dad. I love you guys! To the friends and acquaintances who also supported me especially the ones who voted for my music video. Thank you all very much. To 'moviestorm" who created such a wonderful software that allowed me to create my piece. Thank you and more power! To the people who keeps on uploading softwares, movies, etc. in thepiratebay.org and mininova.org thank you so much let's continue on sharing. To mdotstrange who inspired me to do my own stuff. Thank you man! To my girlfirend who never stop encouraging me. To the Cinemanila team who considered Machinima to be part of the festival thank you. And thank you all to everyone who opens their eyes and ears for me. Thank you all. To all the skeptics I'll try to improve my work next time.! Peace!

The Science of Sleep

2009-10-13T10:12:00.000-07:00

Before watching the film i already prepared myself for a "Gondryesque" kind of film; kinda wierd, surreal, with a touch of humor and animation. And I must admit, my mind was already set to love the film because, yeah Michel Gondry is a genius, i admire him and so this film of his would obviously be one hell of a good film. And it starts Gael Garcia Bernal (Crash, Motorcycle diaries) the mexican actor who everyone has nothing bad to say against him. Just a plain great actor. Ok let's start talking about the film. What I really like about Gondry's films is that he never hesitated on pushing the limits on creating the imagery of the message...for example there's some scene in the film when STEPHANE is frustrated with his work, and the scene portrays something that STEPHANE is thinking at the moment about his job. The scene shows STEPHAN is worshiped and obeyed by his co-workers, everything he say to them is the right thing...even his boss obeys to him...but only in his head....Watching the film along the way gave me the idea about Gondry's personal touch with the main character (STEPHANE) especially when I watched another favorite film of mine that Gondry made (ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND) again another neurotic mind twisting movie. The character's traits are somehow common and are so Michel Gondry. Like Gondry, STephane also invents all sort of wierd things and draws strange things. Well all I can say is another Gondry film = another ride to your brain neurons.

And here it is....WORSHIP THE WILL!!!

2009-10-08T21:38:00.000-07:00

And here it is....my recent project...WORSHIP THE WILL...first of all I want everyone to know that this is an experimental music video with the use of a machinima tool (Moviestorm). And this is my first time create a music video/machinima so please bear with me in case I disappoint you. But any comments or suggestions would be fine with me. By the way this is the uncensored version of the video. I cut out about 3 scenes due to some foul words I used...actually just the word "fuck" and I don't think youtube and some film festivals would accept the uncensored version..but thanks to this blog I could post the uncensored version here (complete version).

SYNOPSIS:

In the year 2020, the world is trampled with endless crisis. A new-age messiah called “The Will” is the only hope for our salvation. But little do we know that “The Will” uses a manipulative-broadcasting-Television-program to take control of our minds making us adore him, die for him…worship him. And to fulfill his ultimate evil ambition; to take over the world!

How long did i finished it? = 4 months (not full time)

Computer I used = (1) 2.16ghz macbook, 2gig RAM, (i know it's a pain in the ass rendering the 3d models with a macbook)

Softwares I used = Moviestorm, Snapz pro x, Adobe after effects CS4, Final Cut Pro 6, Audacity, Nestopia.

How many cast and crew? = 1 (me), I also did the voiceovers.

ENJOY!

Family guy...a reason to be happy

2009-10-06T23:24:00.000-07:00

You know all these calamities, corruptions, hunger, poverty.,.You name it...everything that's making the world go crazy is making me sick. Especially when watching T.V, those crazy news that they feed us are just too depressing. I tried a lot of things just to keep he high in spirit, to keep me inspired; I tried drinking lots of beers..it didn't helped much, I also tried eating sweets...not really helpful to my teeth...I tried a lot of things. And oh animation yeah I tried doing some crazy stuffs...although animating is fun I need a quick fix, something that can make me laugh and be...well happy! And I remembered an animated show called "Family Guy". I was starting love the show when I was having a vacation in the US (East) and I remembered that was during the winter. And you know when we say winter we know most people got stuck up in their houses most of the time. So at that time "family guy" really made me happy and prevent me from having a season affective disorder. Anyway even now here in the Philippines, i went back to find the Family guy episodes that I missed. as you know family guy isn't that popular here. So guys just a advice if you are trying to find something to cheer you up...just watch some episodes of family guy...I know their humors are sometimes too much but hey it's funny! family guy...you're making me happy!

Burned out again...but need to write...need to go back to Berlin...

2009-10-04T23:18:00.000-07:00

Right now I'm trying to write some paper works as required for the application to participate in the Berlin Today Award. FYI BTA(berlin today award) is part of the Berlinale Talent campus in Berlin to help former alumni and present members of the talent campus to fund their proposal short film projects. Every year there has its own theme. Like this year i think the theme is "leaving the familiar Sector" you decide on what it means. But the nomination process in brutal, I mean you'll compete with thousands of extremely talented film maker with their ideas...I know I'll be shooting some starts here but it's not impossible. I really want to do this, but i need to start writing, I need to make something they like (producers) want. I like the idea of making a film that others are anticipating for it...I wrote something for the proposal but I'm not sure if it's really suitable for the theme...or rather I'm just trying to please others much more than pleasing myself....anyways I know it's a good story...let's see

Flash Flood...one of the worst in Manila's history.

2009-09-28T10:23:00.000-07:00

A few days after a once in a lifetime flash flood hits Manila, the entire city is still in shock. Probably the worst flood that I've ever seen in Manila. I would be honest with yah that in my entire life...this is the first time I've seen the entire Metropolis is literally submerged in flood...so that's a combination of feces, craps, trashes, and other wastes man threw out to nature. My heart broke when I saw many of my unfortunate countrymen who were victims of the great flood...at the same time I'm also thankful to be safe and unharmed during those moments. My heart goes out to my fellow Filipinos. Take care and stay strong!

"Tribute to the Will".....FINALLY DONE!!!!!...but

2009-09-25T00:30:00.000-07:00

Man after several months of thinking...experimenting and animating. I somehow made it through finishing the video. Atlast! Although I must say there were scenes that I'm kinda overwhelmed on doing it..but in the end i must say im proud of my work even if it is intended to be "not be taken seriously". And oh one big thing I've changed on this project is the title, I changed the Title to "Worship the WIll" it sounds more catchy to me. Anyway I submit the music video to a film festival here in Manila so I can't upload the video yet. I think it's one of those lousy T.A.C that's why I have to wait until the end of the festival period before showing it to the public. So anyway I hope it gets accepted in the festival...

Too Many distractions

2009-08-31T00:32:00.000-07:00

My "Tribute to the Will" project got delayed due to some unexpected factors. I moved to a new place and fix all the utilities' bills and other stuff. Man...moving to a new place takes a lot of effort. I mean I looked like a rag man for a week due to intensive cleaning and packing. Now everything's set, I completely moved all my stuffs to my new pad. Now let's start doing the project again

"Tribute to the will" takes a while

2009-07-24T03:43:00.000-07:00

Oh man finishing "tribute to the will" seems like forever. I'm still 1/4 to go until i finished the thing. Maybe because the entire project itself is a complete impromptu that's why I'm having a hard time filling into the scenes. No planning at all...creating a story board is very time consuming for this project as it is intended as an "experiment". But anyhow, a story board is still advisable to any animation project. But no stopping now...I need to do this...

"Tribute to the Will" screenshots

2009-06-19T01:37:00.000-07:00

Yo as promised these are some of the pics from my animated music video "tribute to the Will"...I'm still 1/4 from finishing it...

A project...finally!!!

2009-06-18T02:56:00.000-07:00

iT IS SO TRUE THAT THE ideas don't come when you force yourself to think about one. A few days ago an idea hit me when I saw what my grandma is watching on her tv. I saw a TV host of a popular Variety show here in the Philippines. And I keep on asking myself "WHY" people love him...almost "worship" him even though he's an asshole!!! I'm not just mad at him or something...he's really an asshole.. he's been on and of the show for harassing his co-hosts, for saying trashy things in front of the TV, he's been sued by all of his ex-wives for physical injuries and other charges. And many people died on a stampede on his shows...REALLY!!!It was a big news here a few years ago but now people forget all his shits and now he's still a demi-GOD to the people. I mean people believe in everything he says, people agreed on what he tells, people buy products that he endorses, people adored him, laughed at his jokes, weep on his words. And now he's the biggest paid celebrity here in the Philippines, and probably the most powerful i I keep on wondering about his "powers", so an idea hit me on making an (animated) music video about this guy about his "powers" why people worship him. I think it'll be cool I'll post some screen shots about it on the next few days

dry mind

2009-06-05T00:18:00.000-07:00

It's been raining non stop here in Manila. It's been three days and from end to end of my apartment are the only inspirations I can see on creating...I try to read, to watch films I try to talk to someone just to have an idea of what to do next. What to make. But I'm certain of what I want to do: I want to make an animation...something that I will be proud of showing to others. I don't want to make excuses that I don't have a camcorder or I don't have the budget to do this or do that...I HAVE MY COMPUTER and with a computer i Ccan make an animation...that's for sure./... But right now I'm running dry with ideas...maybe I just drank gallons of coffee these days..It possibly made my brain jump up and down...that's why I can't focus...

discovering Kafka

2009-06-01T01:18:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to find inspiration on creating something. As I was digging into some old stuffs, I bumped into my sister's book collections. This I know I'm sure of, that I don't have the patience to read books without pictures! Anyway I remembered one book that my sister is blabbing about, it's the "The Basic Kafka" I think these are the compilations of Kafka's short stories and diaries. Recalling all the things my sister was talking about kafka, and I try to find that book and try to read it. Man...My nose bled! Maybe I'm just a newbie on books...or it's just that KAFKA's books aren't meant for newbies? Or Kafka's stories don't suit me? Or maybe reading doesn't suit me at all because I had an ADD when I was a kid (attention deficiency disorder) Anyway I gave up just on the first story..."The Metamorphosis" I know the story is probably one of the best in the world but I really can't stand the boredom I feel on reading books in general,..But in fairness I understand the premise of the story and I really appreciate the brilliance of his works...really really cool! But it was the Author KAFKA himself amazed me...his struggles emotionally, his passion on his work and the legendary identity he left onto the world of literature and surrealism. Next time I will try to focus again on reading the book.

Escaping reality through music

2009-05-28T01:40:00.000-07:00

Recently the temperature here in Manila reached 36.5 degrees Celsius. It's probably the hottest moment of the year, literally. The academic school year is about to start and so people are swarming the shopping streets to buy school stuffs. Imagine the heat with the compact mob in the streets = blazing temper! But guys if ever you experience this kind of situation, please...you don't have to be grouchy and destroy your mood. You know I really understand why they say that "Music heals your soul" it really worked for me. Thanks to my girlfriend, who donated her first eidtion ipod shuffle (512 mb) yup the old white one. Actually it was buried in her stuffs, and when she found it, it's already outdated and she wants to dispose it before it disintegrates to ashes. So here I am receiving a hand me down Ipod shuffle from my girlfriend, which is nice by the way because she doesn't need to spend to make me happy haha! Like what they say "other's trash is one's gold" So I accepted it with open arms.

I uploaded some Beethoven, Bach, Mozart, Vivaldi and Debussy musics to soothe my mood when the stress is started to climb up my spine. It really helped...promise! It feels like I'm in another "happy" world where I can't feel the heat and the toxic environment...ahhh yes...I think I was thinking of the grassy hills...Just like the main character in Shunji Iwai's famous movie "All about Lily Chou Chou" http://www.lily-chou-chou.jp/ although the movie is dark and depressing but it was cool! ANyways try bringing a music player, it doesn't matter if it's old or cheap, as long as it can play music and help you escape the awful reality, besides that's the purpose of an music player. And oh I also put on some "The cure" and "U2"'s stuff in case I want to bang my head in case it gets boring!

Want to be in Cannes too...wait for me

2009-05-23T00:16:00.000-07:00

Lately I've seen the Filipino representatives in the 62nd Cannes film festival and honestly I'm envious about them and at the same time I'm proud of them. You know being part of probably the best Film festival in the world is probably a dream for every film maker. Agree? Anyway while seeing them I know they also went through a lot of trials and hard works. Then I looked at myself in the mirror, dreaming of also being a part of them, yet I'm just still starting on the craft...seriously. I didn't even went to film school..but again the "already-engraved-battle cry" in me tells me "so what?" If they did it, so can I. As long as I don't stop thinking about it, as long as I don't stop creating things to achieve it. I know I can, I know i will.

Lately I'm trying to learn several things at the same time. It's really mind bursting but hey, i know I can do it. I'm studying Spanish through rosetta stone (MAC), cinema 4d, and adobe after effects. I don't really need the Spanish thing right now but it's just cool to know other languages and especially Spanish is close to the Filipino language. Right now I'm fluent in Filipino and English, conversible in Mandarin Chinese and Fukien CHinese, my goal is to learn fluent German and Spanish within 10 years.

Lately I've been looking in my sisters DVD drawers for inspiring myself and I watched Films by the brothers quay and jan Svankmajer. Cool animations! I really recoommend it animators and animation lovers. I think every animation courses must show their films.

Fireball test

2009-05-18T21:26:00.000-07:00

Like what I said I'm self-studying some animations and other graphic softwares such as adobe after effects and cinema 4d. Few days ago I bumped onto a cool tutorial video on how to make a fireball on adobe after effects. It's easy but you need to download some stuffs before doing the effect. By the way thanks to "ErraticOblivion" on his video tutorial on you tube.

I successfully did the effect. Now I'm hungry for more learning!

By the way I'll try to post my video on you tube...as soon as my internet speeds up...check it out later

Be a multimedia artist...not just graphic artist

2009-05-17T19:57:00.000-07:00

Being a graphic artist, I find it really frustrating on finding a client...actually to find a client at all. After coming back to the Philippines, I thought I was lucky enough when a "promising client" called me up and asking to talk about his needs for a new logo, letter head, and some other catalog designs for his new company (middle size) in short I'll be doing a corporate identity if you guys have any idea about it. So i made some price quotations about the project. To cut the story short, I didn't get the project. Why? He found someone who'll do his needs for a much cheaper price. How cheap? He told me someone actually gave an offer of US $80 including printing and all the designs...honestly I can't blame him...how can I beat that price?! I don't know how good that "designer" of his actually is. But for US $80 all in???.... Actually I already made lots of adjustments to the corporate package (including printing) because he's a friend, I think my quotation was approx. US $620. To all the graphic artists/illustrators in the world you know my price wasn't that bad right? So anyway after that I made a lot of thinking and research about my graphic designing career. I found out that the "still graphic design" thing is slowly evolving to a much higher level of art. Now you got the internet to download lots of artworks for free!!!! with the technology now adays, it's also not hard to learn graphic designing. The only battle ground there is your artistic prowess. But who cares? artistic taste isn't universal. Like what they say there's a thin line between art and trash!

Because of that experience I've been self-studying other softwares. I think I'm also evolving to a multimedia kind of thingy. I've always know animation and some softwares. But I sticked to the still graphic thing so now I'm trying to recall and improve all my knowledge about animation. Thanks to the internet I found some tutorials for cinema 4d and adobe after effects. These are the two softwares I guess I need right now for my "art evolution". By the way thanks to mdotstrange! you don't know me but you really helped me alot with your tutorials and film skul stuffs.

MY ADVICE

-Don't be frustrated with a failed deal, there's always more good things to come as long as you're positive. Keep your heads up

-Be updated, aware and embrace new styles. There's always room for improvement even if you're a Salvador Dali. Learn new softwares, read books, magazines, ask for advices.

-don't be afraid of evolving, evolving means you're transforming into a better "you". We as humans have been evolving since the beginning of time to improve our life...ooops sorry catholic church.

-When you're lost, go back to the basics. WHen you start feeling confused on where to begin, it's always best to go back on your books and start outlining what's your goals. What you're doing always depend on your goals. Like right now I realize I want to do films so I try to start diverting to dynamic graphics.

-Don't let clients take advantage of you. If you know you'll be overworked and yet underpaid, don't be afraid to say no. Besides there are lots of other clients out there that need you. But of course it depends on your situation, I also started doing cheap projects to build up my portfolio. Again it depends on you.

I think I'll be doing some more client hunting and make money while I'm looking for producers for my script.

"The Leaving": finished after 2 years

2009-05-17T09:41:00.000-07:00

Last week I've finished my first script for a feature length film. It took me nearly 2 years to finish it. With lots of revisions, research and other things I burned my hair on just to finish that script. Well was it worth it? I think so, yeah, it was also like one of my self-thought film-making lessons. Not exactly self thought, luckily I have my sister who happens to be a film maker, she was my walking guru when it comes to film making and of course some other dudes on the internet who's kind enough to share their techniques and other stuffs. thank you to everyone. So now even though I've finished the script, I'm at the point where the real work is kicking in. This is the point where I should use all the marketing knowledge I got from my college degree and start selling the script. For me this is the hardest part of film making, is to let someone invest money on you especially when you're just starting out. So now it's time to kiss ass as my journey to find a producer begins

It's been a while

2009-05-17T04:16:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've made a post here. Maybe I was just confused on a certain things in my life, about my career. With the global financial crisis and all that. I think I'm just one of the many who's struggling to find his place. I've been trying to figure out what will I do, what I must do and what is the right thing to do. It seems hard for artists to earn a steady income, unless you already made it on the top. But I think I'm slowly crawling on the right track. I've made a lot of self realization and I finally found out that my biggest challenge is fighting my own fear...that's right it's all in our hands. Become good, become great, or become a loser! I've read some books and some speech from successful folks and they're really a big help to me. Maybe on my next posts I will make some discussions on a lot of things, theories I've realized with my so called self realizations.

Voltes V Godaikin re-issue!!!!!

2008-08-30T03:06:00.000-07:00

Oh man there was the original Godaikin robot toy of Voltes V from Japan during the 80's that i was talking about. And it's been quite sometime since its out of production and it's very rare that we could see or buy these bastards in the market. But lately it was announced that Soul of Chogokin series is releasing a re-issue of the classic Dense Godaikin of Voltes V!!! This is different from the previous release of the Soul of Chogokin series That was released in 2006 which was obviously smaller and lighter from the original Godaikin produced more than 20 years ago, but aesthetically it is better and it can articulate on better angles.

But the "will be released" re-issue of the Godaikin Voltes V is also as dense as its original issue and it's also as tall as the original Godaikin model. so let's have a short glance of this dense bastard! man i want you!

check it out on bigbad toy store!!!!they're selling it already
http://www.bigbadtoystore.com/bbts/product.aspx?product=BAN11850&mode=retail&picture=out

Dragonball movie

2008-08-15T09:40:00.001-07:00

Hey the popular Japanese anime series Dragonball will have a live action movie! but it is an American production and the leading character Goku will be played by an American actor (Justin Chatwin) the movie is expected to hit the cinemas on April 10th 2009. It is directed by James WOng and Produced by the popular HK actor/director stephen chow. Wow! Being one of the dragon ball fans I'm so excited to see the live action adaptation of the original anime series. But one thing's for sure it will rock my world!

Check out the official website of the movie: www.dbthemovie.com

Childhood dream: Robot toy (still a dream)

2008-08-15T09:01:00.000-07:00

the famous soul of chogokin line from bandai and other great toy makers released several remakes of my favorite robot anime during the 80's: Voltes V, Voltron, Transformers, and now Daimos. Wow speaking of Daimos it is a much anticipated line and is supposed to be out late 3rd quarter of 2008. Looking these stuffs in the net never fails to make me drool all over for them.

I was dying to have one of those gigantic robots! I'm not gonna self pity about not having a toy coz to be honest i got a bunch of cool toys when i was a kid but of course not as cool as the big godaikins. But unfortunately I got them on let say at a "not appreciative" point of a kid's life. So nothing really left nice. But on the other hand it made me think that maybe i really don't like those toys that much that's why i didn't took care of them. I remember I was 5 when there was this old toy shop who sell japanese robots and there was this 15 inch box of a gigantic Voltes V toy on the display case, it was astonishing, it was celestial for a kid. But the tag price wasn't like a pancake, it is too expensive to let it play to a kid. Especially known to be a toy destroyer. But I liked it so much and in fact im not asking much from my parents for toys except for this bastard who can't get off my mind. I even have this promise to myself that if ever my mom bought me that toy, I would never ask for a toy again! But living in a third world country, in a middle class family, it's not that easy to throw away $200 for a toy so mom never bought me this thing. And it continued to be just a dream for me.

But faith isn't that nice, One day I came back to the usual hangout toy shop and i was shocked not to see it, someone bought Voltes V, and after a few weeks the toy shop closed down. I think it was my first disappointment in life. AFter that day i never wanted any toy except that! All looked like trash to me. That bastard Voltes V haunted my life until now, as an adult i still long for this toy that I never had. I can't 70's japanese cartoon series could haunt me this way.

But the sad thing is now That im a fully grown man, I'm supposed to have things that i want to. Now several 70's robot toys have been re-released even voltes V and Daimos (my favorites), but it is still too expensive in my standards, i won't buy a $120-200 toy. It stupid but i still long for these stuffs, but its not my priority so i think i will pass again i hope i won't regret it.

Country Life...Yeehahhh

2008-08-06T05:44:00.000-07:00

I've been living all my life in a big crowded (very) city. The pollution, the noise, the heavy traffic arrgghh!!!! Last Sunday my GF asked me to come with her in her childhood province where she lived for a couple of years with her family when she was a kid. We particularly went to her home province to visit her aunt. By the way her aunt have breast cancer and all of us are just hoping for her to get well. So the morning of saturday, we are all ready for an almost 2 hours of ride. Me, my GF, her younger sister, and her mom altogether we sit on the car while watching the heavy rains outside the flooded streets.

So after 2 hours of sittin on an egg(kiddin), we finally arrived in a small town in the province of Pampanga about 100km north of Metro Manila. The town of Santa Rita is one of the several major towns in Pampanga. Well to describe the town, it's a typical Filipino country side setting.; Slow pace, lots of jobless people (it's a common thing) and because of that lots of bystanders staring at the passing cars, transportation is scarce, and yeah there are not much things to do. So there we are stuck in a rural country side town, got nothing left to do but stare at each other and yeah....stare at cars passing by. But I was in a way relaxed with that kind of environment; slight pollutions, controlled noises, slow pace, and peaceful sites.

It's about lunch time, my stomach's already growling, I'm hungry! Then my GF's relatives starts to put out a huge banana leaf and starts cleaning it. Hmmm... So anyway after cleaning the banana leaves, they start to lay the leaves on the ground and called everyone to eat: "let's eat!" So where did we eat??? you guess it right! right on the top of the banana leaves, in short we used the leaves as our plates, and that's not all! Because the leaves are huge (2m long) we all share the same leaves, only an imaginary border separates our food. But wait we're not done yet! WE USE OUR BARE HANDS ON EATING! yes everything (except water and soup) It's not that primituve in the province, sure they have TV and stuffs and ofcourse fork and spoon! But i think they just enjoy eating with their hands, even me! At the starts I'm kinda disgusted using hands, but later I kinda enjoy it. But the Kapampangan(Pampanga natives) foods are awesome i must say, even on that day they served frog soup (yes frog!), by the way frogs taste like chicken. In short I enjoyed the rural kind of life. Honestly I wanna go back and enjoy some more of the local stuffs there.

help the limps

2008-08-04T03:11:00.000-07:00

Last friday I was cleaning up my stuffs, unexpectedly i saw some old friend that saved my ass when i was injured. I'm pertaining to my knee brace, my crutches, and my knee immobilizer. And they saved my ass when I was in deep pain and depression when I once had a major knee injury (torn ACL). Yes they saved my ass...when I'm walking, lying on the bed, sitting, going to the bathroom, during my therapy. I basically bring them anywhere until i don't need them anymore. When I saw them few days ago some of their memories flashes through my mind. I thought how tough it was for me going through a major injury. The pain, the frustrations arghh....everything seems hard.

I got my knee injury in an intramural basketball match when i was still in college (ages ago). I was running on a fastbreak when a defender challenged my on his defense, when i was almost close to the rack to have a clear lay-up my defender jumped high to block my shot once a high jumper i tried to get passed by him through floating and suspending to the air, then just as my legs are almost near to the ground i through the ball up high to the rim. I wasn't blocked, the ball went in the rim! But unfortunately, my left leg somehow felt a cracking sound particularly as I landed. Then It happened, i blew off my ACL. The pain was so excruciating, i felt like my leg was detached from my body. At that moment I knew my life will change...well seriously. After that blow, my knee immediately swelled and i can't bend it anymore.

The next day, i went to a sports medicine doctor and told me the bad news that my ACL (anterior cruciate ligament) was "almost" completely torn. In a way I was kinda relieved to know that it wasn't "completely torn" but the doctor told me that he needs to aspirate my knee to lessen the swelling. What did he meant by "aspirating"? Oh it's just simply piercing my knee with a jumbo needle and sucks the hell out of the blood clots in my knee, imagine how does it feel huh?! And oh he squeezes my knee while the needle is pierced inside my knee to secrete all the fluids....and by the way he didn't put any anesthesia. Honestly I was about to pass out feeling all the lip-whitening-pain. And after that he advised me to rest my knee for about a year before I could do some sports again. And he lets me wear the good old knee brace to immobilize my knee. It's kinda hard to move with it I feel like I'm a disabled person at that time, and it's so embarrassing when people stare at you like a "freak" while walking oddly but It really helped me not to further injure my knee. And so while enduring all those hassles I tried to rest my knee and let it heal for a year...

But just after 6 months of my healing period, I already felt a lot better and coincidentally there's a basketball league in town. I'm so excited to play in a league again. So what i did was to try to play again. I think that was one of the biggest mistakes i ever did because I got injured again and this time it's for sure! My ACL is completely torn, and the worst thing is it could heal itself anymore coz it's already destroyed the only thing that can be done to it is to have to reconstruct it through surgery. The problem is Philippines doesn't have universal health care meaning medical treatments aren't mandatory, it is rather a privilege and so medical treatments are so expensive. Insurance? FYI health insurance premiums are also expensive so most of the average Filipino couldn't afford or setting aside health insurance. So being in that kind of country, and being an average "person" i can't afford the immediate surgery. And of course I went through all the aspiration thing, the pain again. The hassles, and the odd stares from the public.

That major incident gave me a reality check, it humbled me and made me realized about my vulnerability as a human. It made me look at the disabled that is suffering since the day they were born and who doesn't have the chance to be normal because of the unfairness in this country. So what i did was to save enough money to cover the excess hospital expenses my health health insurance limits me to. (yeah complicated) And after several years of mental, financial and emotional preparation, for the first time in my life, i decided to undergo surgery. Believe me it wasn't the best experience of my life but I knew it would be a good investment for myself.

But probably the most challenging (hardest!most painful) of all is after the surgery. It is the moment when the anesthesia subsided, when all my senses are there. My whole lower body was a mess, i couldn't pee (probably because of the anesthesia). my leg is covered with bruises, my knee is swelling and bleeding, the pain is killing me it feels like it'll gonna explode! And this time the healing process is harder and frustrating, and i need to carry a pair of crutches (that makes me odder) and this time I need to attend countless therapies. Man that was hard! But with all the pain and patience I got healed. I can do normal things again, and I can do sports again woohoo! I'm a normal person again. And I felt that I also learned a lot through all I've experienced, it is also a turning point on who I am today, I became stronger and more open minded than before.

Seeing all those stuffs brings back a lot of memories of pain and suffering, but I just look on the bright side and appreciate how far I went. So now I went to a near public orthopedic hospital and I donated my knee brace, my knee immobilizer, and some bandages. (the crutches are next in line) It somehow made me feel proud of myself, i hope that those stuffs could help the "sick and poor" who needed it. I think it's a good time to help others even in a small LIMPY way.

the Dark Knight is.....Joker

2008-08-01T06:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to a nice cinema with my Gf and we watched "The Dark Knight". The long awaited movie is here! We bought some fries to spice up the viewing experience. The we sat on the nice comfy seat. That's cinema baby!

I admit at the first few scenes of the movie, you wouldn't immediately recognize it as a Batman movie. And it really impressed me. The fact that I saw Batman (played by Christian Bale) being a human in the movie. At the first parts of the movie you can see Bruce wayne stitching his own wounds, and there are body scars all over his body, this shows that Batman is indeed human. Then during the corporate meeting of Wayne Enterprise, you can see Bruce Wayne falling a sleep on the meeting due to a long sleepless night kicking some criminal asses. Then the women of bruce "the playboy billionaire" Wayne, hot chix but less love in there. The problem is he can't have a steady relationship particularly with his ex-girlfriend and Love of his lifeRachel Dawes (played by Maggie Gyllenhaal) because of her public and personal responsibilities as Batman. But for me the main factor in the movie (hands down!) is the JOKER portrayed by Heath Ledger, i think Heath Ledger made a legend out of himself on this one. The acting, the characterization, everything seems so perfect for him. He became the most feared, the most villainous character probably of all time. I didn't really know how good he was as an actor until i saw this movie. When you see the "Joker" it's just you can't feel any mercy on him, no remorse, all you can see is a big nutcase in him, all he wants is chaos. And the biggest thing here that immortalized Ledger's performance is his sudden death that shocked the movie world, a young promising actor suddenly died of accidental overdose. How sad it is, a freak accident that ended his promising career. Maybe it was meant to be. But mostly he made an impact on everyone and he not only popularize the Joker as a character, rather he became the most feared villain of our time. So... "why so serious?"

Batman again? What now?!

2008-07-22T06:45:00.000-07:00

Batman, joker, two face....The same typical Batman movie that made Adam West look like a crazy crime fighting guy with a bulging tummy in his purple underwear worn out. So here now another Batman movie (Batman: the Dark Knight) came into town, as usual Batman fans (geeks like me) are piling up on the theater queue just to have a glimpse of that black coated billionaire beating the hell out of the villains. But this isn't the first Batman movie and not the first time they featured joker as the villain. But what makes it so special this time?

To be honest I haven't watched the movie yet but I'm looking forward to see it this weekend (Trust me!) But as what I've seen in the trailers, posters, reviews and videos. I got some pretty good initial impressions about the movie. First of all I noticed that the production took the Title "the Dark knight" somewhat a part of the theme. I noticed that they pushed the story to a point that it doesn't seem like a teenage movie anymore. WIth all the violence and all I think it is intended to more mature audiences. (SOrry kids!) But I like what they did, because Batman could save the city with all the "ZAP!, CLASH! KAPOWW! KAPOOSH!" running on your screen. Another thing I noticed is that they made the more realistic especially the character designs. I like the way they made the washed-off make up on Joker's face, it's dirtier and it made the joker look more crazy, more lunatic. And the darker and more violent image of Gotham city it really suits the menace that is adamant in the city. But at the top of all I still can't make a conclusion whether it's better than the rest of the Batman movies but with the whopping $155 on ticket sales within the week, i think it's something to look after to.

Too much food? Think again.

2008-07-21T19:24:00.000-07:00

The Philippines: Rich in natural resources especially the overwhelming fruits and vegetables, the beautiful and rich aquatic resources. And with the rich fertile soil you can plant almost anything under the Philippine soil. The country is blessed with abundant crops and the endless fruits of the nature. But guess what, the country is experiencing a critical food crisis. You said it! Impossible?! I don't think so!

I was saddened to hear the news yesterday about the latest poll in the Philippine Statistical Coordination Board about "how many people felt hunger for the current year" and it's not surprising but it hurts to know that the numbers rose dramatically and knowing the fact that millions of families; elders and the young ones are experiencing hunger. In fact nearly 11 million people are experiencing hunger in the country. If not hunger, they're experiencing malnutrition. These are the results of a national crisis that had been ignored and denied for the past two decades. But aren't you wondering why these things happen to a country who's rich in natural resources? What's the real problem in the Philippines?

I think there are a lot of factor that I could blame on to but for me the biggest issue here is the government corruption, hands down! Why? I just used my common sense. Why is that the government officials are getting richer in fact some of the officials are Billionaires! and the ordianry Filipinos are getting poorer. How did I tie up the wealth of the government officials to the worsening of the economy? Ok picture these, the Taxes increased especially with the VAT (value added tax) and the EVAT (Extended value added tax), all the food, commodities and utilities prices increased (especially the oil prices), the salaries of the ordinary employees didn't increased. And yet no developments and improvements for the economy. No improvements! So where do you think all those tax payment went???......take a guess.......yep you're right! straight right into the president, vice president, senators, congressmen, governors, mayors, and oh even the cabinet members! and the rest of the government officials' nicely tailored pockets. But of course there are some exceptions but I think only 5% or less within the country's gov't officials who aren't really "that" corrupt. So now what do you think will happen to a country with these scenario? And one reason is that lands that are supposed to be for crops and planting are slowly depleting because of commercialization. These lands are being sold to real estate developers and now they are converting these lands into golf courses, residential areas and factories. So there are lesser and lesser crops can be harvested to supply the unstoppable growing population.

But all these greed and unconscientious acts have alarming chain reactions. I have a simple...simple explanation about the current scenario in the Philippines through these chain reaction of events.

Gov't corruption = depletion of funds = halting of developments, restorations, maintainance = economic draught = unemployment = poverty = quality of life decreases (hunger, lack of education, over worked under compensated workers, diseases)= public corruption, increasing crime rates = Death, depression, broken culture, misguided lives.

It's so crazy to think that some people especially government officials are spend hundreds and thousands of dollars just like that for their "wants" and extravagance. Yet millions of people can't even have the basic "needs" in life such as food, shelter, and clothing, education . Millions can't even eat more than once a day, yet some throw excesses from their food like garbages. How could these government officials sleep at night? how can't their conscience haunt them?

Because of globalization, isn't it that everyone is supposed to be blessed with the world's prosperity? But why are there still Millions of people in Africa and other third world countries still suffering from hunger? In Philippines, most of the Filipino families are suffering from malnutrition because of the expensive food and unequal distribution of opportunities. Many families buy cheaper substitutes such as instant noodles as viand to their rice. And some cases they use SALT as viand.....SALT! That's how worse their situation are. My heart is broken everytime I hear and see these stuffs. So before you leave that excess food of yours in a fancy restaurant think of the millions of people begging to have a taste of that thing you left behind.

What's happening now to the Philippines is a sample of a broken system, the government is the one destroying its own country. The government is the one leading the people to the bottom. Right now I don't know what will happen to the country couple of years later, all I know is that it will become worse and worse until there's a miracle suddenly appeared in the front of our eyes that suddenly the government realizes its faults and suddenly they start shaping the country again and become what the government is supposed to do....oh how i wish. It should start now.

What I learned: I can't alter each person's mind to help and to have conscience not to waste any food. Even though I can't contribute that much to fight these problems as of now. I can start somewhere from the small things in my community, in my neighborhood. I learned that being a government official in the Philippines is the best business venture!!! All you need to do is make a lot of blabbing and yakking and lying and killing. And you'll be as rich s them!

What I'm doing: I starts small, I try to feed some vagabonds on the streets circumstantially. I try to help them especially the once that i feel helpless. Of course I still to feed my own stomach first so I can't be a full time charity guy but I try to be as humane as possible. I try not to be choosy on food, and I'm in-taking food that I only feel enough for me and the good part in that is that I can maintain my weight! I try not to dispose unspoiled excess foods; i keep excess foods in the ref and eat it the following day in this case I can also save money!

How I'm changed: I'm more aware about the global crisis. Before when I see a beggar on the streets I think of them as LAZY for they don't work that's why their hungry. Now I'm thinking other angles why this certain person is suffering and I just don't blame them because I know it's more than just laziness. Now I know that some of them didn't have a good education, therefore they didn't have a good opportunity in life, therefore they stay poor. Now I know I can do even on the small stuffs starting within myself before I can help others. It changed me to be more concern about the society. I try not to whine about being hungry, these things changed me to know that some people are living with hunger everyday, every hour, every minute . Now I know I'm more generous when it comes to food and I'm more disciplined on in-taking food because I know that when I'm so full and I wanna throw up, at that same moment there's a starving person just around the corner searching for food in the dump. I'm proud that I'm a "GLUTTON FREE DUDE"

I'm Alive!

2008-07-18T20:46:00.000-07:00

Just yesterday I was just worrying about an earthquake scare that was all over the news. The predicted earthquake by some Brazilian guy that scared the hell out of me and the rest of the Philippines. everyone is preparing something "disastrous". 1 day after.......hey I'm alive! no earthquake! no disaster! Well I'm still on guard just in case anything weird happens. I'm glad to be alive.

Catastrophic Earthquake Tomorrow?

2008-07-17T10:58:00.001-07:00

Recently, there have been rumors that have spread all over the internet that Manila, the Capital of Philippines will be struck by a devastating 8.0 earthquake that would change the lives of many or rather end the lives of many. Of course, and as usual, the paranoia lingers on the citizens (including my girlfriend). Will this really be the end?

The rumor started out when a so called JUSELEENO NOBULEGA DaROOSE, a Brazilian national who was said to have predicted PRINCESS DIANA's death, spread all these rumors that a devastating 8.1 earthquake will strike Manila. It even went out on the national news. This guy really scared the hell out of the people man! (again including my girlfriend!). After the news spread people started tracking this guy and they later found out that this guy is a hoax, and of course the "earthquake" is also concluded to be false too.

But today is JULY 17, 2008 one day before the not-awaited-earthquake. Personally I'm not really anxious about the prediction, you know me, the "it should happen before i believe-guy" But at the back of my mind there lie some questions of "what ifs". Yeah what if it is true? What if I would die tomorrow? WHat if the world would end tomorrow? Then there I was thinking of the things, the people that I love and would still want to spend more time with. A pinch of fear struck me. Tomorrow is the day. Everything should be alright. I hope so.

Earning in the internet...I guess it's true...

2008-07-15T10:03:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been busy looking for some stuffs to earn money through internet. And as I've promised I will go back to this blog of mine to give some feedback about the truth behind earning trough internet. Well base on my research (yeah research) there are sites that actually pay you for answering some surveys for them. Some actually let you register for free and some will let you join for a small price of money. Some would even let you play their video games and pay you for that (yes that's what they said.) And some website would pay for making some comments and reviews about some products that are featured on their website.

So the question still lies...will I really earn from these sites? so with no further adieu I tried to participate in an online paid survey. Ofcourse one factors that i considered is that it's free to join, the people's review on it and it's ratings. So one free paid survey site i joined it "Global Test Market". I find it easy to understand the mechanics to earn, so to cut the story short i answered the available surveys for me. SO....I've answered all the surveys....then what I got? I got 90pts. (10 pts. = $.05) It's not a bad start (hmmm....) but i guess i'm going there...i hope so. But I want to earn atleast 10,000pts = $50 because that's the minimum requirement you need to get your money. So let's see.

My advice is to research more about it and DON"T GIVE MONEY unless you're sure about the site. You want to earn right? So be careful about letting your money go somewhere else. trying for free isn't that much to loose try it guys maybe you could earn thousands after.

Ciao! Good luck guys

Trying To find money...here...in the net

2008-07-10T11:04:00.001-07:00

It's been quite a while since I've finished translation job. (By the way it's a contractual work) Because it's just a contractual work, no regular income is coming in my pocket since. FYI, I'm a free lancer, so you know the problem about struggling free lancers...Money! So What I did was just like a normal person would do. Find some.

Ok first i considered trying to find a "real" job. Hmmm...I really thought of it over and over but somehow. SOmething's really botherin me a being a employee. Oh yeah It's because i don't wanna get bullied by a boss hu will tell me what chair i should sit on or where i should piss or what should I wear. It's making me sick. So what else is left out there? Sell my soul? or Sell some firearms....ehem ehem.

So there's one more thing I was staring all the time. It's been my friend for quite sometime now and it's all i needed to have a chance to earn money and it's through....INTERNET!

I've heard lot's of news about people earning money through blogs, answring surverys etc. And it's true! Actually i have a friend who have actually saved some cash for his extra expenses. Who you believe that? If he did it I'm pretty sure I can do it to. But the question is how and where to start?So far I've check some of googles' stuffs on actually how to earn from blogging guys please check it out it would help you a alot! After i learned on how to do it i will tell you guys more on how to actually earn through internet...And of course if I already earned some. I don't wanna recommend stuffs that I've only heard of. So see yah!

The new China

2008-06-24T10:25:00.001-07:00

SHENZHEN CHINA

It's my first time here in China, I've been here for almost 3 weeks now. Primarily i came here to make a "research" about the booming Chinese economy especially here in Shenzhen. Shenzhen is just beside Hong Kong. you can even Go to Hong Kong/Shenzhen with just 20 min. of train ride. But Ironically they still impose a border security. And i really don't understand why. Isn't it that China took over Hong Kong in 1997? So it makes Hong Kong a part of China right? So why is there still a "border" to speak of? And the most confusing part is that Hong Kong legal Residents are allowed to go in and out of China (majority are going to Shenzhen) without any visas BUT....Chinese (from China....not Hong Kong) still needs a visa to go over Hong Kong??? Why???....I Think these are the things that should just be left out unspoken, for the world is unfair! And you'll just lose your mind if you keep on thinking about these things.

So anyway, of course in any place that i went, I'm learning things that I thought i knew well but I didn't knew it after all (get it?). Like when i went to Berlin (Germany), before I thought that Germans are "stiff" in general because of the Hitler and Nazi thing (Sorry). But I'm kinda surprised when i went to Berlin, I think Germans particularly Berliners are friendly and are REALLY hospitable. Yes that's true and when I was in Philadelphia and New York, I thought that All of them are cool and smart and fashionable and all, but when I went there I realize that many of them are bad dressers and are not really that smart (sorry but that's true), and as a result...not Cool. But again I don't want to make a generalization. So now I'm here in China, the place where my ancestors are originally from. The land which they longed for, the place where there's hope and honor, the haven for their future generations. Now I'm here! Because of the over crowding Chinese in my home town in Manila, I already got some few things that i already knew about the "new china/chinese" So coming here i thought I've already got some glimpse of what i would expect... but not so much. So these are the things i've learned and realized here so far that I want to share with you:

1. Before I thought that Many Chinese likes to spit...TRUE. Old, Young, men,women, all of 'em! they spit EVERYWHERE yes i mean everywhere! On the streets, on the middle of the road, in the malls (yes mall!), inside restaurants, in theaters, anywhere they feel they like to, they'll SPIT! And I think it's a common thing for them. Nothing to be surprised with I supposed so, nothing to be disgusted with...not!

2. They said many Chinese women don't shave their Underarms, I thought it was just an old impression. But....TRUE. Every now and then I'm encountering Chinese women here: Sassy.....sexy....but when they starts to raise their arm, voila!!! It's a jungle alright! Sometimes i even feel conscious 'cause may armpit hair seems much shorter than them. But I think there's a better excuse for it than just good hygiene thing. Long time ago it was said that it's an indication that if a woman's armpits are shaved; it's a sign that they are prostitutes. But now because of fashion magazines and other medias I don't think that shaving armpits for women is still a sign of their occupation. I'm not sure if it's because of unhygienic habits of most of them or they just feel like having them...Or They want to imitate the french women, oui madame!

3. Most public toilets don't have a toilet seat?!!!! TRUE AGAIN! I'm not sure why but it's just the way it was and it is still the way they wanted it. It's kinda hard to dispose your body's solid waste if you're used to the seating bowl type of toilet. I feel like i'm pooping on the floor, and I'm literally am! I've heard about an accident that was caused by the toilet seat bowl type. Anyways there's no other ways to explain it.

4. Silence is not a must. They like to talk...not just talk but shout at 'ya! And i don't know why. Even if they are talking to one another face to face, They just want to shout at each other and it's funny. Sometimes I'm confused whether they are arguing or they're just saying something really important that they say it LOUD AND CLEAR.

5. I didn't know that dogs are food here. But they're all over the city. "Dog Meat". They eat dogs. Take care scooby.

THINGS I LEARNED:
The China that our grandparents used to know doesn't exist anymore. But it's nice to see what our ancestors' place looks like now. And I see how the economy changes the lives of the once communist society that is now dashing in world economy. So I think it is FAIR to forgive their not-so-good fashion sense or their loud and clear-face-to-face- conversation.